Relationship Dynamics
Relationship Dynamics Offerings
Passionate about how individuals connect and create magic between them, Lee Harrington has designed a series of classes on the topics of relationship dynamics, open relationships, power exchange in relationships, using your sexuality or authenticity to create connections, and more. For those interested in power dynamic relationships, Lee also runs a 3-day intensive exploration on these topics called Delving Into Power.
Beyond Bowed Heads: Rituals for Dominance and submission
Participatory Lecture
Rituals are a key part of any D/s relationship, whether we acknowledge them or not. From casual kisses as the door to formal slave poses, ritual objects such as collars to slave contracts, the BDSM world is rife with concepts of ritual- but what is a ritual? What are the levels of ritualistic interaction we have between one another? Let’s look at rituals for day to day life (including how to get out of work or parent space), sacred time, intense connection, erotic play, solidifying relationships, changes within our relationships, and the taboo subject of the devastating loss of a relationship or its natural end. From terminology to developing your own code of ethical interaction, this class covers a bevy of styles and types of interpersonal reactions.
Desired Object, Forgotten Object: Erotic Objectification for Animists
Discussion Based Class
In the erotically adventurous world, a lot of conversation has been batted about concerning the idea of objectification and its supposed partner humiliation. However, for those of us who believe objects have souls, things have value, and the earth itself is not something to be thrown away when we are done with it, how does this dynamic between human and human-object shift? How does our interaction with a human table change for those of us who look at tables as more than wood? Can we apply our desire to create lasting relationships with our human-objects (through backing up their core value and identities, negotiation, and more) to creating lasting relationships with the non-human-objects in our world? In a world where everything has a soul, we will look at whether humiliation has a place in the language of objectification and dive into our own ethics while examining our objects of desire.
Getting to Hot: Safety, Communication and Negotiation
Participatory Lecture
Communication is all about safewords and health issues, right? Wrong! Let’s get back to what communication is really about- making your relationships in and out of rope hot by getting into each other’s heads and really learning to share our fantasies, fears, desires, and needs. Let’s talk about getting our desires met, exploring our passions, how to share the scary things, how to not make your bottom feel like shit when they can’t hold a bondage pose, sex, the mysterious creature known as aftercare (and whatabout precare?), intimacy, and so much more.
Harnessing Courage: Walking Your Path of Erotic Authenticity
Spoken Word Participatory Lecture
We each embrace a wide variety of sexual, gender, identity and relationship labels and roles in our life- some that we are handed at birth as expectations from family or society, and others that we acquire or have grow on us. But do we serve our roles, or do our roles serve us? Let us take an enLIGHTening walk through the stories our labels tell about us, how we interpret the stories of our lives, and then set it aside as we truly explore what makes you… YOU. By challenging ourselves to be real with ourselves, we will build the roots of living an erotically courageous life, full of the power that understanding our myriad facades grants us (and when to take those masks off). Instead of looking at what doesn’t work, or who we aren’t – let us work together to build an internal and external vocabulary of what works for us, setting one foot in front of another on your OWN Path of Erotic Authenticity. Be challenged to laugh, smile, put on our thinking caps, open up a bit about our own paths, and start chewing on our truths, perceived truths, wants, and true core needs.
Inner Monsters (Bottoms): Delving Into the Darkness of Our Desires
Discussion Based Class
In a world where dark fantasy has been sanitized into “Safe, Sane and Consensual,” how do we address the truths of some of our more terrifying and terrible erotic desires? How do we look at ourselves in the mirror after we have been ripped apart emotionally and physically, and how can we still look at our partners who did this to us the loved ones we knew before the scene? What do we do when our Tops comes to us with their own demons to be exorcised in the bedroom or dungeon, and those things scare us or turn us on and we are unsure if that makes us bad people. In this closed-group discussion for Bottoms only (Switches may attend but only speak from their experience as Bottoms) we will examine our own inner monsters, discuss our fears and desires, and look honestly into the mirror and wonder- if we feed the monster, will it consume those we love… or if we starve it, will it eat us whole?
Inner Monsters (Tops): Delving Into the Darkness of Our Desires
Discussion Based Class
In a world where dark fantasy has been sanitized into “Safe, Sane and Consensual,” how do we address the truths of some of our more terrifying and terrible erotic desires? How do we look at ourselves in the mirror after we have taken our partner apart in the bedroom and left them broken and battered? What do we do when our partners comes to us with their own demons to be exorcised in the bedroom or dungeon, and those things scare us or turn us on and we are unsure if that makes us bad people. In this closed-group discussion for Tops only (Switches may attend but only speak from their experience as Tops) we will examine our own inner monsters, discuss our fears and desires, and look honestly into the mirror and wonder- if we feed the monster, will it consume those we love… or if we starve it, will it eat us whole?
Kissing Cousins: Diverse Age Play and Familial Roles in Kink
Participatory Lecture
When most people outside of the BDSM community talk about Age Play, images like adults in diapers tend to turn a lot of folks off (even if that can be fun). But Age Play for consenting adults can be SO much more! We will explore personal, cultural and universal archtypes of parenthood, childhood, and all kinds of kidhood and adultdom to find a voice for our own diverse desires… from naughty teenage girlz (who says kidz are bottoms?) to packs of boy scoutz, let’s look at pre-verbal, toddler, schoolkid, teen, and a wide variety of adult roles that we can enjoy for role play or lifestyle identities. Daddies, Mommies, other Familial roles will be explored, as well as how to incorporate age play into your other kinks, while we also touch on the land mines of our pasts and helping Kidz and Adultz who have been emotionally hurt by past kink relationships.
Laughing Our Way to Intimacy: Humor and Sex
Participatory Lecture
We’ve each had those moments — when the vibrator goes flying or the stereo goes off with just the wrong song, and suddenly sex has turned into hilarity. But looking beyond the accidents that make for funny stories later, how can we incorporate humor and comedy to purposefully add spice, connection, intimacy or variety to our bedroom (and other) erotic adventures? Exploring the different schools of comedy from absurdity and slapstick to satire, black comedy and dry observation, we will see how each can be included in our sexual escapades. Whether you are using humor to try something new, push a boundary, look back on past pain, or simply PLAY — this class is for you.
Lets Talk About Sex: Frank Discussions around the Realities of our Desires
Discussion Based Class (No Late Entry)
So here’s the truth- no one has the same type of sexual interactions or erotic expression as anyone else. Some people want to be penetrated, others eschew the idea. Some of us want to be touched certain ways, others don’t. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you enjoy anal play, just because you’re a lesbian doesn’t mean you like having your pussy licked. Every one of us is different. So let’s talk about it! In this discussion based class we will talk about what the hell sex is to us, what we call the stuff between our legs, and what we like to do with it when no one else is watching. Can it be touched? How can it be touched, and what are your thoughts around your body in general? What is safer sex, and do you actually do it when the passion is turned up to ten? How do you discuss this stuff with your partners, or do you expect psychic awareness or fumbling in the dark? Do you cum, how do you cum, and does it matter? Let’s air our dirty laundry and talk openly, honestly, and passionately about sex!
Open Hearts, Open Minds: Exploring “Alternative” Relationship Structures
Participatory Lecture
Modern romance dictates that a single individual should fulfill all of our needs- from sharing joys and fears, co-parenting and financial commitments to sexual happiness, identity confirmation and spiritual fulfillment. Is this fair? We will look into what relationships give us, then explore a wide variety of relationship structures that are being employed to have people fill all of their needs. Monogamy and serial monogamy are valid options, but what about polyamory, swinging, pre-arranged trysts, friends with benefits, and more? How do we communicate in our relationships to make whatever structure we choose actually work, and of course we’ll plunge into issues like jealousy vs. envy, new relationship energy, and making each of our friends and partners feel like the unique person they are in our lives.
Partners Bondage intensive- Sensual and Traditional Bondage Poses for Partners
Intensive- Limited Attendance
Bondage is not just about how to tie a good knot- it is about the scenes we set and the connection you build with your partner. We will be looking at some of the traditional poses used in sensual and restrictive Japanese bondage that you can use at home with your partner- and analyze them not just for HOW to do them- but why, and what ways we can do the tying as a scene unto and of themselves. Also- how to use your bottoms senses to your advantage, ways to connect to your partner(s) using sensual and traditional bondage, communicating desires concerning bondage, and more. In this 5+ hour intensive you are encouraged to bring at least 3 25+ft pieces of rope for hands on intensive exploration in class, though limited supplies will be available to borrow.
Service That Actually Serves US: Giving and Receiving What we Really Want
Lecture with Hands On
Does having your slave shave his balls three times a day actually help you live a full and fulfilling life? Are you sick of being asked to scrub the toilet as if your partner expects you to cum each time you do? Let’s get down an dirty- talking about and working trough exercises on establishing what service we really want, what we really want and are able to give, and what drives us in service from all sides. Is it about effort, quality of outcome, detailed delivery, results, resources expended… or getting hard/wet? And service is not just provided by slaves- Masters, Mistresses, Mommies, Daddies, Boys, Girls, Lovers, Friends and more will get a chance to look at their desires and see what actually gets them what they actually desire.
Sir! Yes Sir! : Exploring, Developing, Implementing and Enforcing Protocol
Participatory Lecture
Everyone in the Dominant/submissive and Master/slave community seems to talk about protocol, but what is it exactly? Where does the line between “common sense” and “etiquette” stop, and protocol begin? We will look at what Protocol is in a D/s context, delve into terminology, and then examine formats of commonly recognized protocol systems and how these things develop in individual relationships and group dynamics. How does protocol change from public interactions to existing 24-7 in private dynamics? Once we have examined what protocol can be, we will look into how to further develop our chosen dynamics, implement them consistently, and then discuss the difference between enforcing protocol and punishment techniques. These concepts do NOT just apply to M/s and D/s dynamics- from active listening to self sabotage, this class will touch on communication and lifestyle skills for all types of relationships.
Switching Strategies: Fulfilling your Needs and more
Participatory Lecture
The term “switch” has a lot of baggage attached in a polar BDSM community, where you are expected to be a Top or a bottom, a Master or a slave- but there are a thousand reasons why many of us feel a calling to cross over from time to time- while others are born to ride both sides of their souls. We will be addressing why people switch (Tops who want to know what it feels like, slaves who want to serve masochistic Masters, greedy pigs who want it all), strategies to finding play partners or relationship structures (one partner many roles, play partners outside of monogamous relationships, polyamory, swinging, open relationships, self-play), and create ways to check in with ourselves about what our own needs are. When desires are left unfulfilled, it can lead to resentment, break downs in communication, and anger- but how do we find ways to fill our needs when we are ashamed of them, our partners are turned off by them, or we’re just to shy to ask?
You’re Hot when You’re You
Participatory Lecture co-taught with Nina Hartley
We’ve all been told on some level that what we are, who we are, or what we want is not normal. Is strange. Isn’t acceptable. Is wrong. We’re all broken, so what? Or more importantly, now what? Join Nina and Lee as they explore their journeys of gender, presentation, Dominance and submission, sexuality and more that never had a box to fit into in the first place. From self examination to self acceptance to self celebration, lets look into what makes each of us truly sexy, truly hot, truly authentic… finding ourselves amidst the messages from our communities and beyond.
